Big Idea:  The school year is over. Papers are graded, classrooms are emptied, and a well-deserved sigh of relief escapes your lips. But amidst the exhaustion, a jumble of emotions swirls within you. There were triumphs and challenges, moments of connection and frustration. How do you process it all and prepare for the fresh start of a new year?

Narrative psychology is a relatively new field that views our lives through the lens of stories. Its central tenet is that we make sense of our experiences by weaving them into narratives, creating a sense of coherence and identity. The end of the school year is the perfect time to create/edit the narrative of the year that just finished and write a rough draft for the year ahead.

Reflecting on the Past Year: Unpacking Your Teaching Narrative

Think about the school year as a story. It has a beginning, middle, and end, filled with characters (students, colleagues, parents), conflicts (learning difficulties, classroom disruptions), and moments of growth. Narrative psychology encourages you to unpack this story, analyze the themes, and learn from it.

• Identify Key Moments: Start by pinpointing pivotal moments in your teaching narrative. Was there a student who overcame a learning obstacle? A particularly engaging project that ignited student passion? Conversely, were there challenges you faced with classroom management or curriculum design?

• Analyze the Narrative Arc: Each pivotal moment has a narrative arc. Was it a triumph over adversity, a moment of unexpected connection, or a struggle that led to a new teaching strategy? Examining these arcs helps you identify strengths and areas for improvement.
  
  
• Unearthing Emotions: Our stories are infused with emotions. Reflect on how you felt during these key moments. Was it pride in a student's success, frustration with a lack of resources, or perhaps a mix of both? Acknowledge and understand these emotions, for they inform your teaching philosophy.
  
  

By actively reflecting on your teaching narrative, you gain valuable insights by reinforcing strengths, learning from challenges, and developing a professional identity.

Narrative Tools for a Fresh Start

Now that you've explored your past year's narrative, it's time to craft a new one for the upcoming year. Here's how narrative psychology can help:

• Setting Goals as Aspirational Stories: Instead of making generic resolutions, envision yourself achieving your desired goals. Picture yourself successfully implementing a new teaching method or fostering a positive learning environment. This mental narrative serves as a powerful motivator.
  
  
• Building Student Connection with Shared Stories: Storytelling plays a crucial role in classroom dynamics. Share personal stories that illustrate relevant concepts or life lessons. Encourage students to share their narratives as well. This creates a sense of community and fosters deeper connections.
  
  
• Promoting Growth Mindset with Stories of Resilience: Stories of overcoming challenges and failures can inspire students (and yourself!). Share stories of scientists who persevered through setbacks or historical figures who defied odds. This reinforces a growth mindset where effort and learning are valued.

This week, try this: As the year winds down, I strongly encourage you to do three things to help you enjoy your summer: 1) create a POSITIVE narrative for this past year. If it’s negative, it will eat away at you in your quiet moments. 2) Put an early, positive spin on next school year - one of hope and positivity. 3) Start (or continue) a self-care practice that can be continued into the next school year when you’re busy. It’s vital to start it when the times are good so that when stress hits, self-care is a comfortable friend, not a scary stranger. 

Quote:  "Breathe darling.  This is just a chapter, not your whole story."  (S.C. Lourie)

Educator Resource:  Coaches Conference - Join your fellow athletic coaches from schools all across Illinois!  We will have a chance to collaborate, network across sports, and hear from some amazing keynote speakers.

Keynote Presenters:

• Todd Moeller
• Stephen Mackey
• Dr. Blakely Low Scott
• Demi Williams
• Cat Osterman

1. In-person workshop at The Gateway Center, Collinsville, IL
2. Registration: 8:30 a.m. (coffee and tea provided)
3. Workshop: 9:00-3:30 p.m.
4. Lunch provided!
5. 5.5 PD hours
6. This workshop is FREE thanks to the ROE 40 Project Aware Grant, the ISBE SEL Hub grant and co-sponsored by Character Plus.

​Dad Joke:  My aunt is a church official who organizes parishioners' personal information.  Her job title is Nun of Your Business.

So many levels to this Dad Joke! Thanks for reading this year. This is the final installment for the 23-24 school year with a plan to start up again in September.  HAVE AN EXCELLENT SUMMER!!

~Matt Weld, ROE 40 SEL Coach

Big Idea:    I’ll bet you’ve recently heard that nagging voice in your head whispering (or sometimes shouting) insecurities and anxieties. We all experience self-doubt, especially when we are busy, feeling stressed, learning something new, or asked to do something new. Self-doubt comes in many flavors, but its impact is undeniable – it can paralyze us, prevent us from reaching our full potential, and leave us feeling like frauds.
What does it look like in you?

• Imposter Syndrome: This pervasive feeling of being a fraud, undeserving of success, makes you believe you've fooled everyone into thinking you're competent. Even with accomplishments under your belt, the fear of being exposed as a "fake" lingers.
  
  
  
• Perfectionism: The relentless pursuit of flawlessness fuels self-doubt. It makes you hypercritical of your work, leading to procrastination and missed opportunities.
  
  
  
• Fear of Failure: This common trigger makes you avoid challenges and new experiences due to the dread of messing up. The possibility of failure seems so catastrophic that it becomes easier to stay stagnant.
  
  
  
• Comparison Trap: This involves constantly comparing yourself to others, often focusing on their perceived strengths while overlooking your own. Social media with its curated feeds amplifies this kind of self-doubt.
  

• Negative Self-talk: Pay attention to your inner monologue. Are you constantly belittling yourself, focusing on your shortcomings, and using negative labels?
  
  
  
• Procrastination/Avoidance: Do you find yourself putting things off, even important tasks, due to a fear of failure or inadequacy?  Maybe this looks like shifting your priority list to others before yourself.
  

Here are my top 4 approaches to silence the inner critic and embrace your potential:

• Challenge Negative Thoughts: Don't accept self-deprecating thoughts as facts. Question them! Are they based on reality or just your fear?
  
  
  
• Reframe Your Perspective: Instead of dwelling on what you perceive as weaknesses, focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
  
  
  
• Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Striving for flawlessness is paralyzing. Embrace the iterative process, learn from mistakes, and view them as opportunities for growth.
  
  
  
• Read your Resume: Keep an updated list of all your accomplishments, not just for job hunting, but to remind yourself of your accomplishments.
  

Taming self-doubt is an ongoing process. It requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and a commitment to personal growth. Remember, everyone experiences self-doubt; It's a normal human emotion.
This Week, Try This:  The next time your inner critic starts yammering, choose one of the strategies above or try this think sheet.


Quote:  "You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked.  Try approving of yourself and see what happens." (Louise L. Hay)

Educator Resource:  Directions Conference 2024 - FREE conference.  FREE PD hours or CEUs. FREE lunch.  FREE Admin Academy.  FREE Book. What are you waiting for?

Dad Joke:  A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a blood clinic to donate.  the nurse asked the rabbit, "What's your blood type?"  The rabbit replied, "I'm probably a Type O."
​
You’ve got this. Keep your chin up, and smile - even faking a smile can change your mood just a bit.
~Matt Weld, SEL Coach
​

Big Idea:  Burnout. It's a word thrown around so often it can lose its meaning. But for educators during the last month of school, burnout is a very real threat. We push ourselves to the limit, and when we inevitably hit a wall, frustration sets in. But what if the key to overcoming burnout wasn't about pushing harder, but about accepting our limitations?

Acceptance doesn't mean giving up. It means acknowledging that we can't control everything. There will be setbacks, there will be days when we fall short. Accepting this reality takes the pressure off and allows us to focus on what we can control: our effort, our attitude, and our ability to learn from mistakes.

Here's how acceptance becomes a powerful tool:

• Reduced Stress: By accepting what's outside our control, we free ourselves from the constant worry and frustration that fuels burnout.
• Self-Compassion: Accepting our imperfections allows us to be kinder to ourselves. We can forgive ourselves for missteps and move forward.
• Focus on Progress: When we accept our current state, we can celebrate small wins and focus on making gradual improvements.

Acceptance isn't about resignation. It's about creating a space for growth. By acknowledging our limitations, we can find the strength to move forward, embrace challenges, and build resilience against burnout. So next time you feel the pressure building, take a deep breath and accept that it's okay not to be perfect. It might just be the secret weapon you need to reignite your passion and conquer burnout.

This Week, Try This:  Every day this week during a break from kids, take 30 seconds and do this: 1) Sit in silence, perhaps with your eyes closed, for three breath cycles. 2) Take a deep breath in through your nose, and on the exhale, say out loud “I cannot fix everything.  It’s OK that today isn’t a 100. I will do my best in each moment and let the rest go.” 3) Let that mantra sink in and resonate with you for three more breaths, open your eyes if they’re closed, and return to your day with a smile.

Quote:  "My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance." (Michael J. Fox)

Educator Resource:  
Mindfulness BINGO is here for Mindful May (with a prize!) from the Coalition of Schools Educating Mindfully.  Open to everyone.  

• ALL of our members have already been entered for a chance to win!
• Plus, with each event, circle, and tag on social media, we will add your name again to our list! If you get a BINGO, let us know and we will add your name AGAIN!
• AND for anyone who is not a member, yet, you can play to win, too!
• At the end of the month, we will contact the winner!
• Email Hello@EducatingMindfully with any questions. Let's have some fun together!

More Information  If you are part of the Area 5 SEL Hub (ROEs 3, 40, 41, 45, and 50), you are already a member.  Details here.  Also ROEs 39 & 4 have group membership.

Dad Joke:  My wife asked me why I wanted to be cremated.  I replied that it was my last chance to have a smoking hot body.
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Thanks for reading! Today’s Dad Joke is sponsored by all of us who realized (and accepted!) that warmer weather means swimsuit season is, well, basically here, and my post-holiday diet and exercise regimen might just have to start after Memorial Day.  :)
​
~Matt Weld, SEL Coach

Big Idea:    
A couple weeks ago, we talked about self-advocacy during our Mindful Monday. The topic came from a participant, and the topic resonated with several people - I received several emails afterward, which rarely happens.


Self-advocacy is the culmination of several skills around self-awareness, and just like I think the CASEL wheel starts with the self-awareness piece and moves through the others to end in responsible decision making, I believe these steps to self-advocacy are sequential.


1. Agency - the ability of individuals (having the skills and strategies) to act independently and make choices that shape their lives and the social structures around them. Agency emphasizes the idea that individuals are not merely passive recipients of societal influences or structural forces but are active participants who can exercise their will, make decisions, and initiate actions.


2. Self-Efficacy -  The belief in one's capabilities to organize and execute the sources of action required to manage prospective situations. (Albert Bandura, 1986)

3. Self-Advocacy - Speaking up for yourself and the things that are important to you. (doing)


When you think about something that you need or that is important to you - something that you have to promote yourself to get or achieve - what is holding you back? Here are some factors that might be a hindrance:

• self-talk and self-confidence
  
• societal and cultural norms
  
• family expectations
  
• education and training
  
• …?
  

When parents would apologize to me for emailing or calling about their child, I told them that one of their main roles as a parent was to be their child’s advocate and to teach them and model how to speak up for themselves.


Because now that we are adulting, who is going to speak up for your needs if you don’t?

This Week, Try This:   What’s something that’s been niggling at you for years now, and you just need to have a conversation with the right person to get your needs met?  Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask!

Quote:  "Self-advocacy is self-care."  (Chasta Hamilton)

Educator Resource:  ISBE’s 3 Ways to Kickstart Mental Health Month - May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time dedicated to fostering a culture of support and understanding around mental health. It’s crucial to prioritize mental health and well-being in schools, where young minds are constantly growing and developing. Here are three opportunities for school leaders to support mental health in your school communities:

1. Resilient Schools Roadmap Pilot Survey
   
2. SEL Well-Being Survey
   
3. Bulk Registration for Suicide Prevention Training
   

Dad Joke:  The sports store had a major sale on paddles.  It was a big oar-deal.
​​Thanks for reading! On Saturday, May the Fourth be with you!
~Matt Weld, SEL Coach

Big Idea:  Let's face it, life can be messy, and for some reason, we like to intentionally make it messier.   Sometimes, we take a good thing and make it so big that it becomes bad - sort of like eating dessert for dinner (a huge ice cream sundae at 4 pm? Sounds delicious!) so that you feel like crap.
Toxic masculinity refers to the negative aspects of traditional masculinity that pressure men to conform to a rigid and unhealthy definition of manhood. This often involves suppressing emotions, prioritizing aggression, and viewing anything feminine as weak.

• A man refusing to seek help for mental health concerns due to fear of seeming weak.
  
• A boy being discouraged from expressing sadness or fear.
  
• Promoting dominance and aggression as the only way to be a "real man."
  

Managing Toxic Masculinity:

• Embrace the Spectrum: Men can be strong, compassionate, and emotionally expressive. Celebrate healthy masculinity in all its forms.
  
• Normalize Vulnerability: Encourage men to express their emotions openly. Talking about feelings is a sign of strength, not weakness.
  
• Challenge Stereotypes: Question societal expectations of masculinity. There's no single way to "be a man."
  

Toxic Positivity refers to the relentless promotion of a positive attitude, often minimizing or invalidating negative emotions. While optimism is great, ignoring or suppressing difficult emotions can be detrimental to mental well-being.

• Someone brushing off a friend's worries with "Just focus on the positive!"
  
• Feeling pressured to hide sadness or anger for fear of ruining the mood.
  
• Social media portraying a picture-perfect life, ignoring the realities of struggle.
  

Managing Toxic Positivity:

• Acknowledge All Emotions: It's okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Suppressing emotions can lead to bigger problems later.
  
• Practice Empathy: Listen to someone's struggles without judgment or forced positivity.
  
• Celebrate Authenticity: Real life has ups and downs. Embrace your full range of emotions for a healthier mental state.
  

Toxic Stress (also known as ‘chronic stress’) occurs when we are constantly bombarded with pressure and the body can't effectively manage it. This can lead to physical and mental health problems.

• Feeling constantly overwhelmed by work deadlines and personal commitments.
  
• Experiencing anxiety and difficulty sleeping due to financial worries.
  
• Engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating or substance abuse.
  

Managing Toxic Stress:

• Identify Your Stressors: Pinpoint the sources of your stress and prioritize tasks accordingly.
  
• Practice Relaxation Techniques: Deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can effectively manage stress levels.
  
• Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to additional commitments when you're already overwhelmed.
  
• Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist for help managing stress.
  

Remember, we all encounter these toxicities in daily life. By understanding them and implementing these management strategies, we can cultivate a healthier and more balanced approach to navigate life's challenges. It's okay not to be okay sometimes, and by acknowledging and addressing these toxicities, we can pave the way for a more positive and resilient outlook.

This Week, Try This:  Take a hard look at your schedule.  Where in your life is there something that used to be enjoyable but is now toxic?  How can you fix that?

Quote:  "Optimism isn't a belief that things will automatically get better; it's a conviction that we can make things better. " (Melina Gates)

Educator Resource:  SEL HUB #3 SUMMER COURSES  Our friends at SEL Hub #3 in Quincy, IL just released their summer courses, and there is something for everyone: virtual book studies (they’ll ship you the book), and virtual Lunch and Learns.

Dad Joke:  What do you call a chronic fear of giants?  Fee-fi-phobia.
​​Thanks for reading!  We are on the home stretch, y’all!  Four more issues this year…
~Matt

Big Idea:    
Yesterday, I had the honor of teaching teachers for a full-day workshop.  They weren’t the K-12 classroom teachers like I usually work with, but yoga teachers.  One thing I noticed (besides the fact that teachers everywhere are just cool people) is that teachers often teach their students to explore and be creative, and that there is ‘no right answer’.   The WORST multiple choice exams are the ones where a) I and III are true, b) II and IV are true, etc.

Yet when they are the students, teachers expect one right answer.

In Western culture, there is little room for both/and (Okun).  We like to have one answer.  This can lead to either/or thinking and often arises as a necessity of our increasingly frenzied world when we need to make snap decisions based on a few facts.

And when we are working with people, there is no one right answer - in fact several seemingly contradictory truths can all be simultaneously true.  Light is both a particle AND a wave.  Teens can be dependently independent.  Animals are both predator and prey.  We can be both both loving and unloving with the same action.

During our Breathwork and Polyvagal class yesterday, we were discussing how new evidence contradicts the previous idea that our nervous system is either in sympathetic (fight/flight) OR parasympathetic (rest and digest).  Rather, our nervous systems can be in BOTH sympathetic arousal AND social connection (competition with rules) or dorsal vagal shut-down AND social connection (intimacy with a partner).  It’s more like a pie chart with 3 pieces in constant flux rather than one or the other. #mindblown

This Week, Try This:   Look up ‘paradox’.  Think of an example in your life where you can be two seemingly incongruous things at the same time.

Quote:  "The opposite of a fact is a falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth."  (Niels Bohr)

Educator Resource:  GRAND CANYON UNIVERSITY
FREE APRIL PD COURSE:  Math Facts and Fluency: A Focus on Multiplication:  Immerse yourself in our professional development course, where we will unravel the research behind the development of procedural multiplication math fact fluency. Reflect on the three phases that mark students’ progression toward mastering basic math facts. Dive into an array of classroom activities designed to foster fact fluency development. Take a moment for introspection, evaluating your current instructional practices and strategically planning for future refinement.
SCHOLARSHIPS:  Bachelors:  Students who enroll in GCU’s BACHELOR degree programs that leads to initial teacher licensure are eligible to receive 32% off the tuition.  Masters:  Students who enroll in GCU’s MASTER of Education programs that leads to initial teacher licensure are eligible to receive 25% off the tuition!

Dad Joke:  For Sale:  Broken violin.  No strings attached. 
​​
A lot happening this week:  tomorrow is the last Spring Frost date for our area (Check your date here), and the bitcoin halving is expected on Friday. Have an excellent week!

~Matt

Big Idea:    
his week, take a moment to celebrate something you dislike about yourself.
People often ask me how I come up with each week’s topic.  Sometimes it’s something I’ve been thinking about all week, sometimes it’s something I’ve heard, and sometimes - like this week - I stumble across the same thing from more than one place.

On Tuesday, my buddy Ryan Wamser forwarded me Simon Sinek’s newsletter that suggested this as the Call to Action for this week.

On Wednesday, I was watching the new Avatar: The Last Airbender on Netflix this week (don’t judge), and the voiceover of the last episode was talking about how we often hide parts of ourself and so sometimes we show up to the world wearing a mask, yet the mask it who we really are.

In today’s society of AI and Photoshop, perfection seems harder and harder for us everyday folk to achieve. In addition, social media shows us the very best of everyone’s lives - what we’re seeing is highlight reels rather than the everyday mess.

Often, we try to hide what we don’t like about ourselves, thinking the world then won’t be able to see it.  Sometimes, I wear hats so people won’t know I’m bald because I really don’t like not having hair. But let’s face it:  even if you’ve never met me, it’s pretty darn obvious I’m bald and wearing a hat.

Instead, I should be flaunting my ‘imperfections’ - celebrating them, since people often take their cues on how to react to something from you.  Also, people (kids especially) are great at figuring out your soft spots and poking at them, so why give them something to poke?

This Week, Try This:  Think about what you’re self conscious of. Ask a trusted friend or partner about it.  I’ll bet they see it as just a part of what makes you you - and not a flaw.

Quote:  "Flawsome:  (adj.) Possessing the power to embrace one's 'flaws' and knowing they are awesome regardless."

Educator Resource:  
Making Connections – An Overview of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) & Intellectual Disability (ID)  April 23, 2024 – Time: 3:30-4:45 pm. VIRTUAL. 1 PEL hour and CE for Social workers, professional counselors, and psychologists available.
Register Here https://form.jotform.com/240855596554166
Learning Objectives:

• Learn about autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability and how they can manifest in the classroom. 
• Understand the association between mental health symptoms and school functioning and how these neurodevelopmental disorders can impede a child’s learning.
• Discuss experiences and questions about supporting student mental health in the classroom with other educators state-wide and MH providers.

The content of this course is targeted towards educators in the classroom and schools who play a key role in the life trajectory of children. Educators are often the first to notice mental health problems in children. We will discuss various neurodevelopmental disorders educators may frequently encounter in classroom settings. These disorders encompass a wide variety of manifestations and symptoms. Still, we will provide a framework to understand better what these disorders entail and how they may affect a child’s growth in and out of the classroom.
Educators will be able to engage in meaningful conversations, share experiences, and ask questions during a Q & A session. If you’d like to submit a question for the panel before the event, please do so here: https://forms.gle/13iwvawYirgijtXs8
Facilitators:

• John Ernzen, MD - Child & Adolescent Psychiatry Fellow at Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago & McGaw Medical Center at Northwestern University
• Damian Dongho Gwak, MD - Child & Adolescent Psychiatry Fellow at Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago & McGaw Medical Center at Northwestern University
• Khushbu Shah, MD, MPH - Child & Adolescent Psychiatry Attending at Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago & McGaw Medical Center at Northwestern University

Dad Joke:  Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?  No sun.

Take care of yourself and others!  Have an excellent week.
Matt Weld, SEL Coach
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Big Idea:    It’s human nature to make judgements.  Scientists hypothesize that making comparisons is a survival technique - we need to constantly compare new information to what we know/remember to ensure that we didn’t eat the poison berry or poke the bear (again).

In our uber-social society, that innate strategy of comparison can lead to personal unhappiness and discontent.

ENVY is when we compare ourselves to another person and want what they have.  I can feel envious when I talk to someone who is a published author and I am not.  I can feel envy when I look at social media and see all these people who seemingly have it all together and I look at my own life and see a sink full of dirty dishes, a stack of unpaid bills, and a Dad bod.
Envy also implies a lack of acceptance and gratitude for everything that one already has in their life.  How do you combat it?  Honestly and truly feel gratitude for what you have.

JEALOUSY is similar in that you are wanting something other than what you already have.  The difference is that there is another person involved.   Envy is between you and one other person, while jealousy includes a third party.  I feel jealous when my wife pays more attention to the dog than to me.  Jealously rears its ugly head when my boss compliments my colleague more than me.  In each of those examples, two other people were involved.

To me, jealousy implies a lack of self-confidence.  Why should I care if my boss compliments my colleague when I know I’ve done gold-star work?  Working on jealousy can take a lot of inner work that I think starts with how we talk to ourselves.

The English proverb, “Envy shoots at others and wounds itself,”  illustrates how these emotions end up hurting the person who feels them and why they are emotions worth noticing and becoming curious about when they arise.
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This Week, Try This:  The next time you’re scrolling and end up wanting something someone else has, ask yourself WHY this post made me feel this way, and WHAT in your life you are proud of, or that you hold close to your heart.  Then sit with the gratitude for a bit.

Quote:  "The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves." (William Penn)

Educator Resource:  Illinois State SEL Newsletter - The six Illinois SEL Hubs (plus CPS) have pulled out all the stops this year, and have done a bang-up job spreading the word about the importance of incorporating SEL in schools.  We recently held our State SEL Conference in Springfield and had the opportunity to listen to great keynote speakers and meet people f2f.  Be sure to check out the 3-minute video on page 1 that summarizes the importance of the work we’ve been doing.  Shout-out to Hannah Bailey at ROE #4 (Boone/Winnebago) for creating the newsletter and video!

Dad Joke:  I went to school for magicians but failed the final exam.  They were all trick questions!

I hope your week is fantastic! Feel free to respond to this email with comments/questions/suggestions (including your favorite Dad Joke!)
~Matt Weld, SEL Coach

Big Idea: Sometimes we just need to let go.  In this case, I’m not talking about something big, like your job or your relationship.  Let’s keep it smaller, like a teaching strategy or the novel or science lab you’ve been teaching for forever.
Sometimes, we get asked why we’re still doing something - something we’ve been doing for the last 20 years.  Sometimes, we wonder why we’re still doing something that’s now so much of a habit (or even part of our identity) that how do we know if quitting is the right course of action?

Here are some questions to ask yourself as you struggle with what to do next:

1. Why did I do this in the first place? vs. Why am I doing this now?  If you started diagramming sentences with your students (guilty!) because that’s what you learned in school, OK, but does this skill match up to any of the current standards?  Will students really need this skill in the future with AI checking everything?
2. Why do I feel the need to quit?  Is the answer something to do with your values or your identity or is it more along the lines of annoyance? (Pro Tip:  You’ll find annoyances everywhere)
3. What is to be gained by quitting? (or the converse, What is to be lost?) Maybe more will be gained than lost (think long term here!), and so the ROI of going through the pain of quitting will be worth it in the end.

This week, try this:  We have a tendency to hold onto things, even sentimental items.  When is it time to quit THINGS, too?  Look around your house/apartment/whatever and find the antique snowglobe Aunt Betty gave to your mother who then gave to you.  Is it worth continuing with or is it time to quit?
​
Quote:  "Intelligence is knowing how to quit.  Genius is knowing when to quit  But only the courage allows you to quit." (Sarvesh Jain)

Educator Resource:  Directions Conference - FREE Conference on June 5, 2024 at the Gateway Center in Collinsville, IL.  Keynote speakers Damon West and Chanelle Walker plus breakouts by local and regional experts in SEL, mindfulness, and reading.  Get it while you can - registration is limited to the first 350, and this is probably the last year it will be free.  Sponsored this year by the Area 5 SEL Hub.

Dad Joke:  Computer:  Choose a password.  Me:  Hi-hat.  Computer:  Cannot contain symbols

Embrace the warmer weather!  Keep a stiff upper lip (and remember to stop and breathe!) as we get through this final testing business…
~Matt Weld, SEL Coach

This week, I’m writing to myself.
I REALLY don’t like awkward moments.  Sure, I’m terrible at remembering names, and I tend to think things are funny when no one else does, so I guess it’s OK when I’m the one in the Moment.  But movies?  I will stop watching a movie if the scene is too awkward, and it seems that a lot of recent ‘comedy’ movies find humor in others’ misfortunes, which I find very cringe-y. Maybe I’m just getting old.  What about you? How do you feel about awkward situations in movies?

Big Idea:  As teachers, we’ve all experienced Awkward Moments in class.
…Like the time I bent over to get something off the floor behind my desk, and the drawer was slightly open, so it ripped a hole in my Dockers.

…Like the time a student came to my desk to ask a question, and he’d been collecting his spit by not swallowing all period (yes, I taught middle school), so when he opened his mouth it all came spilling out onto my desk.

…Like the time I had fresh pig guts on a big tray in front of the class, and when I pointed at the gallbladder with the probe, it squirted and hit the girl in the very front row with bright yellow bile.

When things like this happen, there are some do’s and don’ts (source):
Do: Pause and think before reacting
Don’t: Ignore the problem
Do: Smile and make a joke (if it’s appropriate)
Don’t: Get judgmental
Do: Admit fault when you’ve made it awkward
Don’t: Apologize if you don’t need to
Do: Remember that people might not even notice
Don’t: Try to fill the silence
Do: Try to read the room
Don’t: Bring up awkward situations when they’re over
Do: Act confident (even if you’re not)
And last but not least, do remember that this too shall pass

This week, try this:  The next time your stomach rumbles JUST as you’ve gotten the kids quiet and working, try one of the strategies above.  And in the end, let it go, and laugh at the situation (not at yourself - at the situation).  I find a quick moment of humor and then moving on the best response.

Quote:  "That awkward moment when it's quiet in class and your stomach decides to make that dying whale sound."

Educator Resource: PODCAST EPISODE:  The Cost of Caring: Compassion Fatigue in Education and Healthcare with Crissy Mombela. (DeFacto Leaders Podcast)

Crissy Mombela is the Program Director for the REACH initiative through the Partnership for Resilience in Chicago, and is in charge of the Communities of Practice across the State (and a straight up amazing human!).

Description:  People working in school or medical settings are in a position to be caring for others in their professional lives; which makes it difficult to leave work at work.  When you combine that with relationships outside of work, family responsibilities or having a child with a disability, there’s a high risk of burnout.  I invited Crissy Mombela to episode 152 of “De Facto Leaders” to discuss this topic because she’s had lived experience as a teacher, a school administrator, and as a parent.
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Dad Joke:  Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me.  I thought it was a nice jester.