QUOTE:  "When people feel like they matter, they act like they matter." (John Mecurio)

MESSAGE: I had an email conversation with my former superintendent this week about her article on preventing burnout that appeared in the April edition of the AASA publication.  She mentioned that Mattering at work is a current focus of hers.  That reminded me of the work I’ve done with Mindful Practices to reconstruct the Surgeon General’s Workplace Mental Heath Framework into a Collective Well-Being Framework that works for schools. In this framework, mattering at work is a key pillar.

Mattering at work is a combination of two things:

I FEEL VALUED:
You know my full name.
You ask about my life.
You know my struggles.
You remember me.
You miss me.
You check in on me.

I ADD VALUE:
You show me how I make a difference.
You affirm my unique gifts.
You ask for my opinion.
You give me responsibility.
You show me I’m relied on.

(Zach Mercurio, PhD)

Like many other things, mattering is a matter of give and take, a cycle of self and others that enables people to really feel as though they belong.  Have you ever wondered why some people is super stressful occupations don’t seem to be burned out and looking for a way out?  It’s probably because they feel like they matter.

THIS WEEK TRY THIS: As you think about the end of this year and the beginning of next, think about how YOU feel.  Do you think you matter at school?  Then think about how you make your students and/or staff feel.  Do they feel like they matter to you and to the school?

DAD JOKE:  I have a chess set that is missing some pieces.  Guess I need to find a pawn shop.

QUOTE:  "Don't wish for less problems.  Wish for more skills." (Jim Rohn)

MESSAGE:  ​Each year, the World Economic Forum puts out the Future Jobs Report, highlighting job markets on the upswing in the next ten years.  Good news?  Secondary teachers are on there.  Otherwise, it’s interesting to note the amount of traditional education required by most of the ones on the list.  The other interesting bit of data they put out is the list of Top 10 Skills for each year.  Check out 2025 and ask yourself, “How many of these are SEL-related, and how many are content-related?”  And then, more importantly, ask, “How many of these are being INTENTIONALLY taught in schools?”

THIS WEEK TRY THIS:  ​As you’re winding down the year and making those preliminary plans for next year, maybe consider how you are going to ensure you really are preparing your students for the future.

​DAD JOKE:  I got an email from Google Earth saying that they can read maps backwards.  I figured it was just spam.

QUOTE:  " Those who do not move do not notice their chains." (Rosa Luxemburg)

MESSAGE:  My mother always said that, “Not to decide is to decide.”  I always struggled with decisions, so I REALLY did not like it when she busted out that particular aphorism.

I think a lot of times, we are stuck with this pair of traits that keep us huddled under a weighted blanket and doom-scrolling: complacency and lack of self-discipline.

According to Dictionary.com, complacency is a “a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.”
Combine that with the inability to correct or regulate oneself for the sake of improvement (modified from Merriam-Webster) and what’s the result?  People wasting their lives without even knowing it - they actually probably think they are living better and more fully than before.

I see that in people of all ages, including myself.  I have all these home projects to complete and books to read and skills to learn, but here I am telling my wife about the latest Reel I watched.

One thing I’ve learned about changing behaviors is that you can’t just eliminate a ‘bad’ one.  You have to intentionally replace it with something else or the lack of the expected behavior will cause others (probably also connected to the easy way) to come forward.  Figure out what behavior you’re going to do INSTEAD and start adding it into your schedule in place of the  unwanted one.
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THIS WEEK, TRY THIS:   What’s something you’ve been wanting to do, but ‘don’t have time for?’  (That’s code for ‘it’s not that important’).  What behavior can you replace with this dream of yours?

DAD JOKE:  I asked the librarian if there were any books on paranoia.  She whispered, "They're right behind you."

QUOTE:  "Man does not see reality as it is, but only as he perceives it, and his perception may be mistaken or biased." (Rudolf Dreikurs)

MESSAGE: When our daughter was in third grade, she was known as ‘The Math Girl’.  In fourth grade, she started to find math more challenging, and couldn’t live up to her 3rd grade reputation.  As adults, we hear the story and think, “she was just a kid; I’m sure she got over it.”

The good news is that she made it through AP Calculus and is finishing her 3rd year of medical school.  It was a challenge though, that still creeps in as doubts to her ability.  Now, I’m not at all blaming her 3rd grade teacher; I think there is a lot involved with girls and STEM and expectations and biases everywhere.  My point is that the labels that we assign people can come true.

And sometimes, we’ll assign negative labels to people and then get mad when those labels come true.

These labels and biases can act in two different directions:

INSIDE-OUT:  Labels can affect how people see themselves.  Repeatedly hearing or internalizing negative labels can lead to a person adopting a negative self-image, while positive labels can foster self-confidence and a positive self-perception. 

OUTSIDE-IN:  When we label someone, we may unconsciously start treating that person in a way that matches those labels.  This can then lead them to start behaving in a way that matches those labels, even if it wasn’t accurate in the beginning.

To prevent this with your students and your own children, give them feedback on their behavior, not their personal characteristics.  Instead of assigning the moniker “Math Girl,” tell her, “I admire how hard you work on learning your math facts!”

THIS WEEK TRY THIS:   Think about the labels that have been assigned to you that might not be that accurate.  Maybe you have been fighting some of these labels for as long as you can remember.  It’s the time of year when we’re tired and worn out.  As ‘those kids’ start to REALLY get on your nerves, do you start each day with a clean slate?  It’s super hard sometimes, but everyone deserves another chance.
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DAD JOKE:  I accidentally took a 10-minute video of my shoes yesterday. It was some pretty good footage.