12/16/2024 0 Comments JumpStart Curry Week (10/7/24)QUOTE: "Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength." (Eric Hoffer)
MESSAGE: We’ve spent the last year finishing our basement, doing a lot of the work ourselves. This means that there got to be a whole stack of stuff that needed to be returned to <insert Big Box Store>. Late Friday afternoon, I gathered up everything, and we made a trip to do all our returns. We had a cart full. The woman at the returns desk was clearly NOT happy to see us, and greeted us in a curt manner, asking questions but not really listening to answers, etc. After I showed her all our receipts in an orderly manner and my wife complimented her nail polish, she got better. Then she lamented how she didn’t like living in St. Louis and wanted to move back to Kansas City. I asked why, and that led to several minutes of listening. She warmed up even further. My wife thanked her several times for her patience, and commented ‘Wow, you must have some real stories from this position!’ Turns out, she was very skilled at her job, managed interruptions with aplomb, and was a gem. We assured her she would get high marks from us on a survey. The lesson? We have the power to engage or enrage difficult people. Here are 10 ways to think about the difficult situations with rude people:
THIS WEEK, TRY THIS: The next time a student or colleague pushes your buttons, try reframing the situation. Look at it from their side, and consider why they chose those words. It probably had nothing to do with you and a lot to do with them. DAD JOKE: My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We rushed him to the vet... no word yet.
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QUOTE: "You can do anything, but you cannot do or be everything." (Matt Weld)
MESSAGE: Part 2 of 2 - last week we covered Empathy and Compassion. This week we’re covering what happens when you take those too far. BURNOUT This weekend, my wife and I watched Blitz (2011) with Jason Statham and Paddy Considine and there is one scene where the two talk about their bouts with burnout (I pulled up the clip to add it here, but it has *cough* language). The content of their conversation is quite dramatic (of course) and not terribly accurate in terms of recovery, but it does illustrate how too much stress in the workplace can have detrimental effects. One of these weeks I’ll go into stress in more detail. For today, understand that too much stress at work can lead to burnout, often showing up as emotional exhaustion, physical fatigue, cynicism, and decreased motivation. If you think you may be facing burnout, do these three things (source):
Basically, it’s when your heart is tired. As someone in a helping profession, you interact with a lot of people who are themselves experiencing trauma. The blowback from their trauma onto you is Secondary Trauma. When we start showing physical and psychological symptoms because of that exposure we are experiencing compassion fatigue. Symptoms may include intrusive memories or dreams, changes in sleep patterns, physical ailments, or maybe even anxiety or depression (source). So what can you do? Take care of your own needs, not what others think you need. Explore your boundaries, find a ritual to leave work at work, and talk with other people. Remember that social problems (like STS) with social creatures (humans!) need to be solved socially/with other people. THIS WEEK, TRY THIS: Are you managing your trauma inputs? If your job is in-your-face confrontational (where you have little control over what you experience), what do you allow in your home environment (where you have a lot more influence)? Is it also confrontational? Do you watch movies with lots of drama? Do you listen to death metal or screamo? Try balancing your job stress with home calm. DAD JOKE: This morning I saw a guy dragging a mollusk behind him on a leash. Must be hard to walk with a pulled mussel! 12/16/2024 0 Comments JumpStart Snack Stick Day (9/23/24)QUOTE: "May you be well. May you be happy. May you be loved. May you be at peace." (Traditional)
MESSAGE: In an effort to keep this email bite-sized, today’s is Part 1 of 2. As a former ELA teacher and forever vocab junkie, I firmly believe that words are important. Finding the correct word for the situation is crucial, and often, we say one word, but really mean a similar word. When understanding is conveyed by language and we desperately want people to understand us, choosing the correct word is critical. For example, how are compassion and empathy related and different? Definitions: Empathy: The ability to mentally put oneself in another’s situation and share their feelings. Compassion: The ability to understand that another person is feeling pain or suffering. Among researchers it is defined as “the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.” Empathy involves getting in the weeds with another person, becoming embroiled in their maelstrom of emotions. Compassion maintains a distance and involves some kind of action to help relieve another’s suffering. Examples: Empathy: A teacher who can relate to a student’s struggles because they experienced them in school, too. Compassion: A teacher notices a student is struggling and offers to help them after class. Next week, we’ll cover what happens when you feel too much of empathy and compassion, and how that can be prevented and solved for. NEXT WEEK, TRY THIS: When you see someone struggling or hurting, instead of getting swamped in painful feelings, deliberately generate a sense of presence and care. Approach the situation with a ‘May you be well, may you be happy, may you be loved, may you feel peace’ attitude. This will help you notice their pain so that they are seen, and keep you from also feeling the pain. DAD JOKE: I bought a record called, "Sounds of Wasps." It didn't sound right, so I checked... sure enough, I was playing the bee side. 12/16/2024 0 Comments JumpStart Play-Doh Day (9/16/24)QUOTE: The past, like the future, is indefinite and exists only as a spectrum of possibilities. (Stephen Hawking)
MESSAGE: It’s good to have your crew/posse/PLC so you can (hopefully) get honest feedback on things, like the time I was testing chocolate cake recipes, trying to find the best one. I dished out slices of the one I thought was the clear winner to my people and received various reviews: ANDREW: “Delicious!” MARK: “Rich chocolate, but the aftertaste is too sweet.” ETHAN: “Nice, flavorful cake, with the moisture being a little to the left of center between too dry and too soggy. As I thought about those responses, I realized that each of my buddies approached the act of rating and evaluating a cake from different standpoints. Andrew thought in absolutes. The cake was either good or bad, and that was enough. It’s a clear and concise way of thinking, but perhaps can lead to snap judgments? Mark approached his cake evaluation with a more dualistic perspective - in order for something to exist, the opposite also had to exist. Maybe they didn’t co-exist, but they each were possible. I suppose it’s a good way of highlighting differences, but I wonder if focusing on the extremes leads to missing overlap? Ethan sees things in life as a spectrum, where aspects of the cake could be anywhere between dry and soggy or salty and sweet. It seems like this attitude allows for an acknowledgement of life’s diversity but may make decision making difficult. THIS WEEK, TRY THIS: As you come across tasks that require evaluation and/or decision making (and there are a TON in teaching!), consider how you view the world. What about your work buddy or your partner? DAD JOKE: What do you call an acid with an attitude? A mean o' acid 12/16/2024 0 Comments JumpStart When Pigs Fly Day (9/9/24)QUOTE: Trust is the highest form of human motivation. It brings out the best in people. (Stephen Covey)
MESSAGE: As a fundamental aspect of human interaction, trust is a complex construct that underpins our personal and professional relationships. While it may seem straightforward, the nuances of trust that we experience today are multifaceted and deeply rooted in our psychological makeup that starts in infancy. At its core, trust is a belief in the reliability, honesty, and integrity of another person or entity. It involves a willingness to be vulnerable and to rely on others without fear of betrayal or exploitation. Small children require secure attachments to caregivers, predictability and consistency in routines and responses from caregivers, as well as empathy and understanding. As children age, they require positive experiences and role models as well as increased autonomy to strengthen their trust muscles. Conversely, mistrust is a state of doubt or suspicion regarding the reliability or honesty of others. It can arise from past experiences of betrayal, cultural differences, or a lack of information. Mistrust can have significant negative consequences, including reduced cooperation, increased conflict, and impaired communication. Building trust in the workplace is crucial for fostering a positive and productive work environment. Here are five strategies to consider:
THIS WEEK, TRY THIS: Try delegating something to a student or to another adult in the building. Try starting with, “Hey, <insert name>, can you do me a favor?” OR “<Name>, I need some help with … Can you help me out here?” People naturally want to help - it’s the asking for it that’s hard. But asking someone implies that you trust them, and can go a long way in building relationships. DAD JOKE: I saw to huge black birds in the yard this morning. They were stuck together. They're velcrows. 12/16/2024 0 Comments JumpStart Year 3! (9/3/24)QUOTE: All I know is that my life is better when I assume people are doing their best." (Brene Brown)
MESSAGE: As I’m thinking about launching into the new year, I find myself asking, “What’s a simple practice that could have a significant impact for the entire year?” >>Assume the best - in people and in situations.<< The idea that your thoughts and intentions can influence the course of your day, week, even life is not new. It’s been explored by people from philosophers to scientists for centuries. Often, when we make mistakes, we have a tendency to blame the situation or the other people rather than take responsibility. And in a choice between situation or other people? We have a tendency to lay blame on the other’s personality rather than the situation. When your soda goes missing from the faculty room fridge, you might immediately assume that someone stole it on purpose. However, if you consider the possibility that they thought it was theirs, or they needed it for a diabetic student, you can approach the situation with more empathy and understanding. This is due to the Fundamental Attribution Error which postulates that we have a tendency to overemphasize personality traits (internal) over situational influences (external). This year, let’s apply another psychological concept, The Law of Attraction, which states that like attracts like. Don’t confuse this with toxic positivity where some people live all sunny on the outside but dark and judge-y on the inside. Actually putting good stuff out into the universe takes trust, intention, and deep self- and social-awareness about what’s actually right and needed. It also takes patience because the results aren’t usually immediate. THIS WEEK, TRY THIS: Try reframing a negative interaction with a co-worker this week. Other than some negative personality trait of theirs that could have prompted the conflict, what else could be the reason? EDUCATOR RESOURCE: What Will You Do With Your Power? - Full-day workshop facilitated by Chanelle Walker, our keynote presenter from the 2024 Directions Conference in June. In this workshop we go in depth into educator resilience, educator preservation vs. retention, and the purpose-driven professional. This workshop is designed based on evidence based research regarding those educators who stay in the profession more than 10 years and report a high job satisfaction rate. DAD JOKE: What happens when a microscope crashes with a telescope? they kaleidoscope. I’m excited and honored to be back with everyone for another year. Many have told me that you find this newsletter beneficial (even though I know you’re here for the Dad Joke, and that’s OK!). I appreciate all of you - let me know how I can help you this year ~Matt If this was forwarded to you, and you’d like your own copy, sign up here. |
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