JumpStart Curry Week (10/7/24)

QUOTE:  "Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength." (Eric Hoffer)

MESSAGE:  We’ve spent the last year finishing our basement, doing a lot of the work ourselves.  This means that there got to be a whole stack of stuff that needed to be returned to <insert Big Box Store>.  Late Friday afternoon, I gathered up everything, and we made a trip to do all our returns.  We had a cart full.  The woman at the returns desk was clearly NOT happy to see us, and greeted us in a curt manner, asking questions but not really listening to answers, etc.  

After I showed her all our receipts in an orderly manner and my wife complimented her nail polish, she got better.  Then she lamented how she didn’t like living in St. Louis and wanted to move back to Kansas City.  I asked why, and that led to several minutes of listening.  She warmed up even further.

My wife thanked her several times for her patience, and commented ‘Wow, you must have some real stories from this position!’ Turns out, she was very skilled at her job, managed interruptions with aplomb, and was a gem.  We assured her she would get high marks from us on a survey.

The lesson?  We have the power to engage or enrage difficult people.

Here are 10 ways to think about the difficult situations with rude people:

1. Remember:  EVERY BEHAVIOR IS A FORM OF COMMUNICATION.
2. It could’ve been you.  At some point in our lives, we’ve been rude, too.  It doesn’t define who we are; hopefully the person we were rude to feels the same way.
3. Don’t take it personally.  Even if they made it personal, it’s more a reflection on their inner state than of you.
4. Use a selective response system.  Respond to what’s going well, and ignoring the bad behavior choices.  99.9% of people know when they’re being rude.
5. Be objective.  Analyze their behavior and its root cause.  Most likely, it was senseless, and if it wasn’t, find the root cause.
6. Don’t join the circus.  Their crazy is not your crazy. You don’t fight fire with fire.
7. Consider offering immediate help.  Sometimes, rude behavior is an immediate response on their part to a frustration.  If it’s something you can help with right then, you’ll get immediate gratitude.  If it’s long term, offering to help later could only exacerbate their behavior.
8. Rudeness can be a habit.  Some people are just rude.  It never failed to surprise me when students with attitudes had parents with attitudes (you’d think I’d learn!).
9. You can’t change people.  Just like we can’t fix our students, we can fix other people’s rudeness.
10. Fight rudeness with kindness.  Your bucket has to be full to do this, which is why a personal practice in resilience is 100% necessary.
    

THIS WEEK, TRY THIS:  The next time a student or colleague pushes your buttons, try reframing the situation.  Look at it from their side, and consider why they chose those words.  It probably had nothing to do with you and a lot to do with them.

DAD JOKE:  My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles.  We rushed him to the vet... no word yet.