JumpStart Mario Day (3/10/25)

QUOTE:  "Humility is sitting in the middle of your truth - whether it's a puddle or a sunbeam - and being OK." (Matt Weld)

MESSAGE:  During Awards Season, I’m interested in what people say when they accept their awards.  At the SAG Awards, Timothée Chalamet was criticized for not being humble in his acceptance speech for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role award:

“I know the classiest thing would be to downplay the effort that went into this role, and how much this means to me. But the truth is, this was five-and-a-half years of my life. I poured everything I had into portraying this incomparable artist. I know we’re in a subjective business, but the truth is, I’m really in pursuit of greatness. I know people don’t usually talk like that, but I want to be one of the greats.  I want to be up there.”

I disagree.  I think he was exhibiting self-confidence, and acknowledging the truth that he worked really hard for the role, and is very focused on being the best he can be. So, naturally, I dove down the rabbit hole of humility, and here’s what I think:  Often, we confuse humility with self-deprecation.  Humility is a virtue, self-deprecation is a form of self-harm.

To be humble is to be other-centered, not self-centered. Humility is often quiet, since the opposite is arrogance which is loud. Humility is sitting in the middle of your truth - whether it’s a puddle or a sunbeam - and being OK.  One can still be other-centered and accept a compliment or criticism.  THEM:  Matt, you did a great job facilitating our session yesterday; you sure seem to know a lot!  ME:  Thank you!  I’m lucky to have the support to be able to learn and study in this area that excites me.

In this example, I am other-centered, but still living in my truth, which is that I have learned a lot and can share it with others.  If I were self-deprecating, I would say something like, “Oh, thanks, but I’m really not that knowledgeable.”  Notice that this response is self-centered and actually self-belittling.   Yet, this is what people think being humble sounds like.

This is also true for criticism.  THEM:  Matt, you screwed up when you didn’t notify the people that the date for the session had been changed.  ME:  Yes, I did.  I’ll do my best to notify people of any changes in the future.  In this example, I can live in the truth that I did screw up and acknowledge that I DO have the power to change.  I didn’t make excuses or try to shift blame or hope for forgiveness.

THIS WEEK, TRY THIS:  What’s the tone of your self-talk like in times of discomfort?  The next time someone points out a shortcoming or a weakness, evaluate if it’s true.  If it is, be humble, accept it, and then find a way to move forward. Avoid self-deprecation or self-flagellation.

DAD JOKE:  NASA is launching a satellite as a peace offering to the aliens.  It's named Apollo G.