Big Idea:  Less is More this Holiday Season!

We’re coming off of a weekend where our inboxes were crammed with major discounts.
Everyone with a job in marketing went above and beyond this year. Truly. I was sucked into several offers and ALMOST hit that ‘buy now!’ button.

Until I remembered:
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My wife and I recently sold our 4-bedroom home with two 2-car garages on 2 acres. The sale wasn’t as hard as the downsizing. What had we been doing those 19 years we lived there (besides raising kids)? Accumulating STUFF!
We ended up giving away about 70% of our things and moving into a 1,200 square-foot apartment where we are very happy.

​This week, try this: As you’re thinking about Secret Santas at school, family gift giving/drawings, consider collecting cash and donating it to a LOCAL group who does things for the kids in your community. Here, our churches, the library, the food pantry, and the local high school all have great programs. Because who really needs another holiday mug with chocolate inside?

Quote:  "The best gifts come from the heart, not the store."  (Sarah Dessen)

Resource:  Student Self-Talk: Part of growth mindset is understanding that there is always more to learn, and that we need to emphasize the process over the person. I work with a little 1st grader in a little school district who was reading at the 4th grade level in Kindergarten. I’m worried that she when she doesn’t get her way or when she comes up against something even a little challenging, she will have a breakdown and quit learning UNLESS we start emphasizing a growth mindset. Instead of telling her, “you’re so smart!” we should be saying something like, “you are so hard-working!”

Dad Joke:  What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married?  Feyonce.

Have most excellent week, everyone!
Matt Weld, ROE 40 SEL Coach

Big Idea:  Just because Thanksgiving is over doesn't mean GRATITUDE falls off the list.

Let’s think about silver linings this week using the technique of ‘yes…and’.

• Yes, school is crazy busy this time of year with parties, performances, family to-do’s, and planning for the holidays, and I can soak up the joy my kids and students are feeling this week.
  
• Yes, finals are right around the corner which means creating and grading assessments, and that allows me to see all the learning that has happened under my watch this semester.
  
• Yes, money is tight this year; my kids have expensive tastes, and this enables me to gift something that they’ll truly remember, like my undivided attention on a special day or a personalized gift that I can create.
  

This week, try this: Yes, I get it that this can all seem to ‘yippy-skippy’ - often falling into the realm of toxic positivity. And I also see this week as a time to expand our zone of resilience by staying in the moment and identifying who is feeling joy right now.

Quote:  "Gratitude is the attitude that keeps on giving."  ~Me

Resource:  Inclusive Language One-Pager. Language is key to, well, just about everything. Things don’t exist until we have a word for them. I heard a podcast one time where a group of people don’t have a word for blue, so they don’t see that color. Language also changes. Much of what what was common vernacular when I was growing up is now outdated and alienating to whole groups of people. This sheet shows some ways to change up how you phrase things.

Dad Joke:  It was an emotional wedding.  Even the cake was in tiers.

Have an excellent week!  
​Matt Weld, ROE #40 SEL Coach

Big Idea:  It's Thanksgiving, the time when generations get together and differences jump out.  Here are some things to think about before you go into those conversations.

• 99% of questions are NOT intended to criticize, dehumanize, offend, etc.
• Questions illustrate the values of the questioner - they have nothing to do with you.
• We become offended when our identities are questioned (Remember #1). This is our mental/emotional response.
• We become defensive out of fear - fear of non-acceptance. We then become angry because of our fear. This is our physical response.
• Remember that we can control our mental and physical responses.
• ​Yes, you could state boundaries and tell them it’s none of their business, but perhaps a family dinner isn’t the time or place. Especially if it’s not at your place.

This week, try this: If someone says something offensive like, “So, I hear you’re still teaching. Why don’t you find job that makes real money?” try this: take a breath and pause, and do NOT get defensive. Once blood is spilled, the piranhas feast.

Then you can respond with humor: “Oh, I have faith that someday one of my students will give me a cut of their earnings once they’re famous!”

Or maybe respond with honesty: “It’s not about the money for me. I’m fulfilled by how I can make a difference in kids’ lives. High fives and hugs mean more to me than some big house I’d just have to clean.”
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You can then also redirect the conversation: “In what other career could I get to join 12-year olds in playing with scalpels? Could you teach me how to make this gravy? Mine is always lumpy…”

Quote:  "Guilt and defensiveness are bricks in a wall against which we all flounder; they serve none of our futures."  (Audre Lorde)

Educator Resource:  Ethical and Moral Dilemmas Discussion Starters. One of the core competencies of Social Emotional Learning is Reinforcing Decision Making. Just having open conversations with kids about emotions and daily interactions is a great way to teach and model how to be a good human. These can be used to debate in social studies, as writing prompts in ELA, or as discussion starters when you have some time at the end of class, or as a regular thing, like “Moral Mondays” (yes, I just made that up!).

Dad Joke:  What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die?  Poultrygeists.

Have a great week! ~Matt Weld, ROE #40 SEL Coach